You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
