Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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