from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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