Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
