Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period

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(302): some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period http://tfl.nu/2c6q

Replies (33) Good night (2562) Bad night (1150)
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(206): View more from Washington

We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....

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(206): We just picked up about 540 lbs of women.... http://tfl.nu/g6wv

Replies (179) Good night (1557) Bad night (3069)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.

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(770): Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/mf5n

Replies (5) Good night (2420) Bad night (741)
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(658): View more from

Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk

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(658): Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk http://tfl.nu/a8a4

Replies (5) Good night (2540) Bad night (828)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today

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(321): Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today http://tfl.nu/s99h

Replies (2) Good night (2226) Bad night (945)
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(509): View more from Washington

I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

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(509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig

Replies (14) Good night (1315) Bad night (2006)
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(+61): View more from Australia

we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.

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(+61): we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together. http://tfl.nu/r78i

Replies (6) Good night (3515) Bad night (634)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds

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(252): I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds http://tfl.nu/g7b7

Replies (5) Good night (979) Bad night (633)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday

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(414): Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday http://tfl.nu/gou8

Replies (1) Good night (1370) Bad night (396)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.

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(252): A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place. http://tfl.nu/7ilw

Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (370)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.

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(414): I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment. http://tfl.nu/4r7a

Replies (8) Good night (744) Bad night (433)
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(765): View more from Indiana

He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.

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(765): He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified. http://tfl.nu/qdiz

Replies (10) Good night (1090) Bad night (523)
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(310): View more from California

Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year

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(310): Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year http://tfl.nu/x1ad

Replies (4) Good night (1042) Bad night (385)
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(360): View more from Washington

Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.

(360): View more from Washington

Welcome to Bellingham.

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(360): Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open. (360): Welcome to Bellingham. http://tfl.nu/j634

Replies (4) Good night (759) Bad night (236)
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(831): View more from California

Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.

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(831): Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/od4k

Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (265)

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