Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

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(845): i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low http://tfl.nu/h0oa

Replies (7) Good night (632) Bad night (1129)
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(916): View more from California

I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn

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(916): I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn http://tfl.nu/z1in

Replies (4) Good night (3083) Bad night (819)
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(469): View more from Texas

You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.

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(469): You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that. http://tfl.nu/9raa

Replies (12) Good night (5502) Bad night (672)
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(212): View more from New York

Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"

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(212): Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers" http://tfl.nu/w9dn

Replies (8) Good night (3717) Bad night (711)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted

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(609): I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted http://tfl.nu/rfs0

Replies (98) Good night (2071) Bad night (8816)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

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(203): I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night http://tfl.nu/hkfs

Replies (43) Good night (10069) Bad night (3003)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"

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(413): i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way" http://tfl.nu/86gt

Replies (36) Good night (16242) Bad night (1271)
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(415): View more from California

The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?

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(415): The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish? http://tfl.nu/s0dr

Replies (10) Good night (809) Bad night (4044)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force

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(765): I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force http://tfl.nu/6fxy

Replies (4) Good night (2093) Bad night (642)
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(440): View more from Ohio

They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.

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(440): They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME. http://tfl.nu/kpqr

Replies (5) Good night (1400) Bad night (563)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.

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(856): So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying. http://tfl.nu/yw9q

Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (492)
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(+61): View more from Australia

For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays

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(+61): For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays http://tfl.nu/y95k

Replies (3) Good night (958) Bad night (435)
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(616): View more from Michigan

2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

(616): View more from Michigan

2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

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(616): 2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll. (616): 2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll. http://tfl.nu/3aiz

Replies (6) Good night (993) Bad night (319)
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(313): View more from Michigan

We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to

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(313): We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to http://tfl.nu/22xn

Replies (3) Good night (484) Bad night (251)
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(586): View more from Michigan

He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.

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(586): He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis. http://tfl.nu/f1uw

Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (227)

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