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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I just remember telling jokes while vomitting

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass

  Fav 17 3343 2906

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  What other scale is there?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  "I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (912): View more from Georgia

  Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.

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• (739): View more from

  IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  What'd I miss?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.

  (914): View more from New York

  That may have had to do with you chugging it

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