Texts From Last Night

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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

  (1-506): View more from New Brunswick

  Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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  (506): Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh? (1-506): Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to http://tfl.nu/xpu9
  Replies (16) Good night (3163) Bad night (757)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.

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  (619): I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there. http://tfl.nu/ar9u
  Replies (9) Good night (985) Bad night (2970)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.

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  (623): Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again. http://tfl.nu/wv7w
  Replies (23) Good night (784) Bad night (3831)
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  (707): View more from California

  why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?

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  (707): why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas? http://tfl.nu/mq53
  Replies (15) Good night (6299) Bad night (1318)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

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  (503): The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone" http://tfl.nu/b2m1
  Replies (15) Good night (4781) Bad night (1378)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....

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  (630): The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time.... http://tfl.nu/q5xm
  Replies (5) Good night (3138) Bad night (1451)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i would one night stand the shit outta him

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  (443): i would one night stand the shit outta him http://tfl.nu/aljg
  Replies (11) Good night (5659) Bad night (922)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, its January.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We're going to do the voices too.

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  (970): We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots. (303): Dude, its January. (970): We're going to do the voices too. http://tfl.nu/k3gb
  Replies (13) Good night (5465) Bad night (925)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at

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  (506): At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at http://tfl.nu/k9hn
  Replies (5) Good night (1896) Bad night (604)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.

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  (417): woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before. http://tfl.nu/td38
  Replies (4) Good night (1549) Bad night (572)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.

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  (307): I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome. http://tfl.nu/fygk
  Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (1949)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.

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  (407): We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party. http://tfl.nu/zy10
  Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (277)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.

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  (305): Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/6foo
  Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (276)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.

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  (302): I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball. http://tfl.nu/8wcf
  Replies (2) Good night (189) Bad night (335)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.

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  (267): He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry. http://tfl.nu/z2cw
  Replies (2) Good night (201) Bad night (310)

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