Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever