Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
