So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
