good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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