1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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