nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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