Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
