we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
