my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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