He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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