I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
