he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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