You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
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My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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