He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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