hell yes lets make some ravioli
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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