So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
did you just send me my own nude
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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