woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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