I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I got inside last night via doggy door
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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