hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
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Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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