I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
