Whod you bang
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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