I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
