she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
