i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
