im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
