oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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