too bad you live with your parents still
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
