You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
