is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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