Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
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