before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
