Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Less talking, more tequila
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
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I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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