The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
