After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
