Your mouth is God's brothel.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
