Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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