Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
