I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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