I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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