So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
