real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
