Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
