whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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