We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
