I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You ruined the universe
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
