i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I understand Curling. That high.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
