Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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