dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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