where am i from again
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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