Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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