So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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