WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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