I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's never too late to be topless.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
