we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
