so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
