Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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