Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
