Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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