Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize